The Battle

Hey Everyone! I am sorry it has taken me awhile to update our blog. We had a very busy weekend and grad school has pretty much overwhelmed me! :P I will start with an update on how last weekend went. Many of you knew that we were going to go to a local church and have me prayed for. I had sent an e-mail ahead of time just asking those that would pray for me to not where any perfume/cologne/aftershave etc. Two days before we were supposed to go, they called me and asked me if it would be alright for them to just pray for me over the phone. They thought it would be better with all of my sensitivities, and I will fully admit I probably would be able to concentrate more on the prayer time instead of wondering when we had to leave before my reactions spun out of control. :) So, we set it up for them to call me around 9:15am Saturday morning. However, before I tell you about the prayer time, I am going to tell you what happened the night before.

The reason why I titled this post "The Battle" is because of the intense spiritual battle that wages in the spiritual realm. A lot of us don't think about it unless we do mission work or outreach where it is obvious there is an evil presence. In fact, I will tell you that Brian and I just don't talk about it much. I would guess that most churches don't spend a lot of time on it either. However, it is very real and we got a taste of it firsthand on Friday. In general, it's my personal opinion and that of so many of my Christian friends that the enemy really uses Lyme Disease to attack Christians. I have been amazed at the number of people who have this disease who are strong believers and were serving in ministry and had to resign from everything, be housebound and have become too ill to carry on normal day to day activities. Lyme Disease hits your cognitive function so it becomes difficult to read the bible, pray and memorize verses. It keeps you isolated from Christian fellowship and only a handful of physicians validate the disease and the need for long-term treatment. So you fight a torturous uphill battle getting others to believe that you are sick and support you when you don't get better in 6 months to a year. I feel this disease has a big spiritual component!

So, now back to my story...On Friday afternoon, I went to my doctor's office to get my PORT flushed. I have not been using it lately because we have been in the process or ordering and receiving supplies, so when it's not in use, you have to have it flushed and re-loaded with heparin every 30 days. Thankfully, it flushed perfectly and there were no adverse affects. However, later that night, I developed chills (no fever), chest pain, dizziness, shortness of breath, was extremely shaky and my heart rate was consistently between 110 and 120bpm. Now, all of those I have experienced before, but not all at once. However, even with that, I dread going to the hospital as I usually react to the place in about 20 minutes and they never find anything. Plus, I did not want to miss my prayer call in the morning, so I just toughed it out all night. It was horrible, and I did not get one hour of sleep.

At 9:15am, the prayer team called. It was such an encouraging time. They told me a lot of encouraging things that God had laid on their hearts when they prayed over my situation. God also gave them incredible insight as to the spiritual battle and bondage that we have been in because of this illness and our current restrictions. They prayed for a break-through and gave me Isaiah 60 which is a passage that all 3 of them had sensed God lead them to. For about 10 to 15 minutes as they prayed and I talked to them, all my symptoms were completely gone. It was amazing and refreshing. I didn't feel any immediate healing other than a break from the symptom list above; however, I could could sense God's presence in a real way. However, as soon as I hung up the phone, all the symptoms came roaring back within 5 minutes. That is why I said I feel like this is a spiritual battle as much as a physical one.

Well, I only lasted about one hour more toughing out the symptoms before we ended up in the ER. As I said above, usually at the hospital, I react to all of the chemicals in the air within a short time frame. This particular ER sets me off in about 20 minutes; however, this time, I did not react!!! We were in there for almost 6 LONG hours and I never once got a rash. I even made it through a VQ scan (Nuke scan) where they have you breathe in a gas and send a radioactive substance through your IV and still no reactions! We were praising God! They didn't find anything (as usual), so it must have been a major Lyme flare. My guess is it's because I have been off IV for so long. I have a feeling the bacteria in my body has been celebrating. However, it's just a bummer that we had to spend so much money to find that out. You don't mess around with heart stuff and when my heart rate was elevated to 110 to 120bpm constantly for 15 hours, it was necessary to get it checked out; however, we will now have over $1000 bill to show for it since my insurance will only cover 30%. Time to say our motto "The Lord will provide!" :)

So, that was our adventure. Sunday was a pretty bad day for me. I felt awful from the tests the day before, but we did notice my chemical sensitivities improve a bit. I have been able to go more places this week. Now, we are nowhere near where I need to be for life to get back to normal (hmmm....what was that like? I forget, lol), but baby steps are always appreciated. Both Brian and I are just trying to keep our eyes focused on Jesus with an open heart that is satisfied in Him and Him alone, and not our circumstances. We are still believing God for complete healing, and we will continue to wait on Him for my break-through. Brian's thinking about writing a Christian book about our story and also having hope in the midst of suffering. We have definitely learned a lot on this journey, and we are praying that God will use it for His glory. Who knows, maybe we can help others who are walking a physical trial too!

On Tuesday, I will start IV therapy again. I don't know what to expect as I have been off since Christmas. I am preparing myself for it to be hard, but praying that it will be easy. :) We did find out that my adrenals aren't working correctly. Apparently, my cortisol levels are flipped. They should be low in the evenings and high in the mornings and mine are the opposite. This is probably one reason why I have insomnia at night and no energy in the morning. So, we are going to try and flip them back. I actually have quite a bit of new stuff to try (meds and supplements) and get on in the next two weeks before my phone appointment with my Lyme physician. So, if you could be praying that I would be able to tolerate it all, that would be awesome!

School is really tough. In fact, when I got the syllabus for both of my classes, I cried. I knew these classes were going to be hard, but they are EXTREMELY hard. That on top of everything else is just plain overwhelming. I am exhausted after working each day and it's really hard for me to study when I feel so cruddy at night. Then, I don't sleep well, so I have to catch up in the mornings before I start work and well...you get the huge problem I am running into. That leaves little time where I am coherent enough to work on my grad projects. The perfectionist in me wants to get a perfect score in these classes and give it my all; however, physically, I am not sure that will be possible. I am going to have to find a balance and I kind of stink at it. :) I'll still shoot for graduating with a 4.0, but I have promised Brian I won't let it kill me. :)

Well, that is it for now. I'll update towards the end of next week/weekend to let you know how IV therapy is going. I hope you had a good week! Congrats, you made it to Friday! Yipee! :)