Week 2: God is Faithful

It's 10:38pm, and I am just plain exhausted.  That is after a 5 1/2 nap today.  Yep, I just typed that.  You are probably wondering if I will be able to sleep tonight, but I am so tired.  I think the treatments are really starting to help fight the infection in my body.  I sleep at night and during the day, and in the evening, it takes a major effort to do anything.  It really has hit me in the last two day or three days which makes sense as I have now made it up to my therapeutic dose of IV Vitamin C.  50grams was her goal for me, and I made it! :)  That is a big accomplishment as two months ago, we weren't even sure if I would be able to tolerate normal IV saline.  All credit goes to God.  He is allowing me to make it through the treatments with minimal reactions and only unpleasant side effects.  The flushing during my treatments is my most annoying symptom.  The fatigue and achyness I can put up with, but I would LOVE it if the flushing reaction would go away permanently...I promise I would NOT miss those episodes. :) 

I will fill you in on the "baby steps of improvement" that we have experienced over the last week.  It's exciting for us, but at this point, we have been on this journey for so long where my health goes up and down, so I have to admit we are a bit guarded.  We have noticed that the IV Vitamin C is really helping to reduce the toxin load in my body.  It is known for being a great detoxer.  So, not only is it helping to boost my immune system and to help fight the infection, it's getting the toxins out of my body so that I am not as allergically reactive.  We have seen this in two areas. One, I have been able to add a couple of new foods to my rotation diet.  I can now eat pear sauce, cooked cauliflower and I can tolerate turkey and pork on a regular basis instead of having to rotate them every eight days (I can now rotate them every 4 days).

We have also noticed that I am tolerating chemicals a bit better.  I was actually able to go into 2 stores with my Mom that definitely smelled like perfume, cologne or new clothes.  I had a  minor reaction in one, but was able to push through, and I lasted a combined total of 45min.  That is HUUUGGGEEEE!  One month ago, I would not have lasted 5 minutes in a clothing store, and I would have paid for it for a week after. So, I call these baby steps because it's progress, but like I said, we are very used to things going up and down, so I guess we are cautiously optimistic. :)  We know it's working (that's exciting), but we know that our journey just began and it's probably going to get a lot tougher before it gets a ton better. 

Brian and I have talked a lot about what attitude we should have especially as Christians as we go through this journey.  We wonder if our guarded attitude is appropriate or if it's a measure of unbelief.  Not unbelief in God as our faith is extremely solid and our relationship with the Lord is everything to us; however, when it comes to my complete healing, I think we are weary from the past 5 years, so we take everything in (the good and bad) through a filter.  We try, with everything we have, to hope in the Lord and not the treatment.  It's been very difficult to look at the dreams we had for our lives, especially in the area of having children and being involved in ministry, and wonder if and when they will ever come true.  It's a painful and grueling to try to process through it all; however, in the end we always come to the same conclusion:  the God we serve is all powerful and we need to take comfort knowing that His plan is perfect.  We have had to open-handedly relinquish all of our desires (the one for children has been the hardest) knowing that we might be blessed by having them come back to us, but if they don't, praying that God will mold our desires into what He wants them to be.

So, where does that leave us?  Well, I think we are still working through that.  We have learned our focus needs to be on Jesus.  We have learned what it looks like to completely trust the Lord for our future physically, financially, emotionally and even mentally.  Some days are easier than others, but God is always faithful.  We have learned to stand on the promises in scripture and to run desperately before Him in total surrender.  Now, I won't say we do all of this every minute of the day just because we have learned it. :)  Sometimes there are days where we both get frustrated, hurt, angry and sad about our current journey, but in the end our obedience takes over and we run the right way praying that our feelings will follow.  We do know that the only way to have peace, joy and comfort in the midst of suffering is through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  So, we give it our all, often coming up short, but knowing that Jesus can carry us the rest of the way.

Starting on Monday, I will be adding my first IV antibiotic to my treatment protocol.  This is a big unknown for us as the last time I was on oral antibiotics I was SO sick.  IV antibiotics really hit the bacteria as they can cross the blood brain barrier very quickly and are much more effective.  So, they have the potential to be even more potent.  However, I have talked to a lot patients at the clinic who say that their transition wasn't as difficult because of all the supplemental therapy they were doing at the same time.  That is our prayer!  I did get trained on how to do my own IVs this last week (SCARY!! LOL). I did pretty good and only messed up once.  Thankfully, it wasn't a life-altering mistake. :P  The schedule for right now is to have me go up this coming week Monday-Thursday as they want to make sure I tolerate the new drug before sending me home with it to administer it on my own.  Then, we are hoping that we can back my appointments off to just twice a week and do the rest of the treatment at home.  Those Phoenix trips are getting a little long as we have to do them every day!  However, every time it starts to frustrate me, I remember to be grateful that my amazing doctor and clinic is only 2 hours away instead of 3 days.

The following are our prayer requests:

• Please pray for Monday and my first infusion of the antibiotic.  This is always a nerve-wracking experience as we are never quite sure how my body will react.  Please pray that there are no allergic reactions and also that the side effects or "herx reactions" (the symptoms that you get when the Lyme bacteria is being killed) are minimal.  What a gift that would be! 
• Please continue to pray for God's financial provision.  When we start the antibiotic treatment, our weekly costs sky-rocket.  I will submit the claims to my insurance and we are praying that God would intervene and have them pay.  Even if they covered a portion, it would be such a blessing.  Usually, insurances do not pay for long-term IV antibiotic treatment for Lyme Disease patients, but again, we serve an all powerful God and we are praying with all of our hearts that He would work.  To give you an idea, one antibiotic costs about $200 per day and I eventually will be on 2 or 3.  We have estimated my treatment costing about $1650 per week for 5 to 7 months.  Yikes is right!  So, any help the Lord provides would be a blessing.
• We still have 3 dates that are not covered as far as needing help to get me to my Monday appointments in Phoenix.  They are October 10th, November 15th and December 6th.  If you could be specifically praying that God would provide someone to help drive me on these dates we would appreciate it.

Finally, I would like to write a special section to request prayer for a priceless friend of mind.  I met her about 7 months ago and she has become like a sister to me.  She has Lyme Disease, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, Dysautonomia and if you compare my list of issues, they are much like hers except for her they are magnified 100 fold.  She has been really struggling physically for the last 3 to 4 weeks and it breaks my heart to see her suffer so much.  She is such a wonderful Christian and she has a heart of gold.  She is so sick, but is always looking for ways to help others.  For privacy reasons, I won't list her name.  Her symptoms have gotten to the point where they are extremely scary and dangerous.  Please pray for this priceless girl.  She has so much to give, and I know that God has amazing plans for her.  However, she is having to fight every day, and I know that she is exhausted.  Please pray that her body would upright itself and the reactions would calm down.  Please pray for relief from her long and difficult list of symptoms. Please pray that her doctor would have wisdom.  Pray that God would provide for her financially and physically.  Like all of us, treatment is horrendously expensive.  Finally, please pray for comfort and peace, and that she would feel the presence of the Lord as she travels down such a difficult and scary road.  Love you girl...you know who you are!!!

Thanks for praying everyone!  May God bless each one of you abundantly! May you meet Jesus in a new way this week.  He is our true life-sustainer! Talk to ya soon! :)