An Unfortunate Reality Check

Hey folks! I wasn't sure if I would actually be able to type this post or not. It's been really rough to say the least. However, we could use a lot of prayer. Let me give you a brief update.

As you most of you know, I was on a break from antibiotics. At my last phone appointment, my doctor's ND said that I could stay off antibiotics as long as I don't have any symptoms come back. I was cautious, but excited. I did really well for two weeks, but then on Day 15, I started noticing some minor symptoms. It wasn't too terrible, and I wanted to make sure the symptoms weren't caused by something else, so I waited it out. However, by Saturday, I had pretty bad air hunger, some bone/joint pain, numbness and tingling and I was constantly dizzy. So, with all of those symptoms, I was put back on my antibiotic regiment.

Overall, I was disappointed because I wanted to be done with that part of treatment, but at the same time, I had relief that, maybe, things could still improve for the better since I obviously still have some infection in m body. However, what I didn't expect was how hard the antibiotics would hit me after my short break. By the third dose (which I took last night), I was in horrendous pain. I haven't had this type of bone pain since I first started treatment 2 years ago. I could barely walk to the kitchen or bathroom. I also had a lot of breathing issues along with horrible numbness and tingling everywhere in my body. The pressure in my head was extreme, the nausea and dizziness were horrible and my insomnia was back in full force. It was honestly like I had never been on treatment. This lasted all night. I literally did not sleep one minute, and then had to get up at 4:30am to start work at 5am. It was pretty brutal. I am not totally sure what happened. It's hard for me to fathom that during my two week break the bacteria multiplied at warp speeds to send me back to the starting line. I refuse to believe that, but I will fully admit that my mind has gone there a couple of times. I am hoping this is just a bump in the road.

My doctor's ND returned my call this afternoon to give me further instruction about what is happening right now. He said he is shocked after how well I was doing for such a long period of time. He said he has only seen this happen to a couple of people. He said that the Bartonella infection must be very ingrained my system. By taking a two-week break, it allowed the bacteria to "think" it had free reign. Then, when I took the drugs, I had a huge amount of die-off from all the bacteria we killed. My doctor said he wanted me to try and push though, so the next few days should be interesting to say the least. However, it's good to know that we are doing some damage to the little stubborn bugs.

Please just be in prayer for us. This is a pretty big set back for us after being able to experience going to church and living in the "real world" for a period of time. Please pray that my doctors would have wisdom as to what to do next. We need to be able to make headway and have it stay that way even when I am not on antibiotics. Also, please pray for us to have perseverance. At times in the past couple of months, I was doing so well that we were starting to talk about having a family in the future amongst other things. However, it seems like that is getting farther and farther away.

Obviously, we have comfort that our Lord is in control. He knew that I was going to go through this rough patch, and we are resting in the fact that this is all part of God's plan. It's so hard to feel like we are constantly waiting and waiting for my health to change for the positive and stay that way, but ultimately, we need to place all of our desires in the hands of the Lord. He is our ultimate healer. He is the one that will give rest for the weary.

Isaiah 40:31
"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."