With spring, comes the winds of change....

Well, it's Tuesday and once again I had to miss work yesterday and today. Thankfully, I have the time in my absence bank for work, but just got word that my company is changing that policy and we will have a lot fewer days. However, I only have to make it until July 14th then I will be going under FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) and will be covered legally for a intermittant or continuous leave of absence for a period of months.

Illness-wise, I have not been feeling good starting Sunday and with my run-down immune system, these days I catch about everything. So, it was off to the doctor after not improving by today and she said I have a raised white-cell count showing up in my lab work (I will spare ya the details). Not surprising since I have that Lyme bacteria causing a steady infection. We have not told her about my diagnosis of Lyme yet because we do not know how she will react. We are going to meet w/ her before my appointment in July but it's just difficult to know what side she will be on in the medical community. We don't want her to blow us off yet, as we need her help in getting me feeling good until my appointment. My guess is she will favor the side that chronic Lyme Disease does not exist (that is what most practitioners say, mostly out of fear of what will happen if they initiate the long-term treatment (you can see my previous blogs for info. on that)) and that a short dose of antibiotics will be the cure, which is the main reason we haven't told her up until this point. We are praying that she would be willing to work w/ us because I have to have a local physician over-seeing my treatment. That would be a major prayer request for us. That God would guide us to someone locally who will agree to work w/ Dr. J during my treatment. So right now, she is going to be putting me on an antibiotic again which is going to make my Lyme symptoms go off the charts like what happened to us in February. We have no choice. but to go on it to cure the current infection, but it is going to be a rough road the next seven days. We would appreciate your prayers as I really need to be able to work. The symptoms last time were horrendous.

Let's see...Brian is wrapping up all of his projects and tests for the semester. He has two major final exams he needs to really study for to pull his 4.0 for another semester. I know he will be able to do it. He is so smart and a wonderful test taker!! He will be glad when this semester is over. He never was able to find a internship w/ the current economy and such, however he is going to try to shadow the accountant at his part-time job to gain some experience. At this point, since it is our plan to travel to SC, it actually works out better that he didn't get an internship because he will be able to come w/ me on that trip. Our big prayer request for the fall would be that God will give Brian a full-time accounting job as he will graduate in December.

The last thing I was going to mention is our current big decision. We kind of came about it in a round-about way. As my previous blogs have mentioned, we have been faced w/ the decision on how to pay for both my treatment (which is horribly expensive) and also at the same time pay for my lost wages in the beginning during my leave of absence (we have heard the first 4 or 5 months are really tough). We have tossed around so many scenarios trying to find one that will work and not leave us owing huge amounts of debt. We are quickly figuring out though, ending up w/ debt is really not an option if we want to start on treatment right away. It's just how we come up w/ the loan money that is tricky. We had thought about waiting to start treatment, but I have been so sick for so long that is a huge risk of the disease getting worse and causing further permanent damage. We don't really want to take that route and have therefore pretty much decided that is not an option. Taking out just a regular loan is not an option for us either as Brian is in school and on my income (especially how un-stable I always am), we would never qualify. So, that is where we came up w/ maybe me going back to school to start my master's. It's crazy, but one day a couple of weeks ago that thought just came to me and then I did a google search for online master's schools and guess what came up? UNK, the school I graduated from. I know a lot of the professors too! This is how it would work if we decide to take this road. I would go on FMLA for about 5 months starting mid-July. Hopefully, that would get me through the rough part of the treatment. During that time, I would go back to school and we would use that loan money to help supplement my lost wages during my leave of absence. It's a lot easier to have a flexible study schedule (studying when I feel good) then trying to work a 10-hour set shift at work. By December or January, hopefully, I would be well enough to go back to work part-time and then Brian would be hopefully working full-time for an accounting firm. This would also enable me to do something w/ education which I love, and at the same time help my teaching certificate to stay active and help the educational gaps on my resume to not be so large.

However, every time we use the word "hopefully" above, that characterizes a huge risk. With the economy right now, there is always a chance Brian would not get a full-time accounting job. Also, w/ my unsteady job security w/ either not meeting my difficult metrics or being too sick to work, that is also a risk. Also, obviously by the end we would come out w/ higher school loan payments (not too terrible, but definitely an increase). On the other side though, if we try wait to start treatment, there won't really be a time where we could afford for me not to work at least part-time without having some kind of supplemental income in replacment to help w/ medical and living expenses until Brian gets enough promotions at an accounting job where he is making quite a bit a year.

So, we kind of feel stuck choosing to go this way. I did apply to Grad school and submitted my admission project last week in case we do decide to go this way. We would appreciate your prayers!!!! This is a HUGE decision for us that takes a lot of faith on our part. We are basically assuming or believing that my treatment will work enough for me to go back to teaching in a brick and mortar setting or even in an online web-based school, once I am done w/ my masters. Of course I could always probably go back to full-time at my company, but it would be tight on that income having to pay for higher loan payments. So, you can see our quandary. We would really appreciate your prayers and also any advice that any of you would have. Maybe one of you will get an idea about another way we could do this...we would take any of your thoughts right now as we are desperate for some counsel!!

Well, once again, I have managed to blab on forever. I really promise you that one of these days, it will be short. Ha!!

May God shower his spring blessings upon each one of you!

In Christ,

Brian and Dawn