Mid-November

That seems like a fitting title. :) My creativity is not present or I would come up with another one. So, this will have to do. I really am surprised it's "Mid-November". I have been doing IVs for 2 1/2 months and Thanksgiving is almost here...the Christmas presents are all bought (yes, that is the life of someone who can't leave the house and is stuck in bed a lot...lots of time to look for amazing online deals!). Christmas is just around the corner and I am ecstatic. I just love it! The music, lights, decorating our house (with stuff I am not allergic to obviously, lol) and the spirit of the season. There is just something about Jesus coming down to earth as a baby that still makes me take a step back in awe. It's so precious, sweet and tender. That's what babies are and to see God in that form is always a great reminder of who God is.

Most of you have realized since you probably check this blog every week, that I skipped last week. It was a pretty emotional week for me starting with a crying episode in IV room at my doctor's office and everything just kind of spiraled down from there. :P Every couple months, I just kind of hit a wall of frustration, discouragement and hopelessness. Take that on top of not feeling well and watching others improve, well...it can be frustrating to say the least. So, I decided to not make a post and wait until this week when my "outlook" was better. I am happy to say that even though my health hasn't really improved, my heart has and that is what is important.

Here is our general update. The week was pretty rough symptom wise. I was battling a lot of the same symptoms I listed last week on top of trying some new meds/supplements in which I had a few successes and some not so fun experiences..but I am alive to tell about it, so that is good. :) I did lose one of my IV antibiotics. I have been taking Flagyl consistently for 2 months (wow...I can't believe it's been that long!) and I started having allergic reactions to it on Thursday. I always try to push through the first couple reactions to make sure they are "true" allergic reactions instead of just my autonomic nervous system deciding to go crazy. However, they were and by Thursday night after doing an infusion for only 5 minutes, it was definitely time to stop.

Over the weekend, my husband and I watched and listened to some DVD's and CD's that we ordered from the latest ILADS (International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society) conference. The president of ILADS (who is amazing by the way) gave a couple talks on treatment methods and Lyme and all the co-infections and Brian took a TON of notes to talk to my doctor about.

Yesterday, we met with her to develop a new plan of attack and we feel more confident about our drug selections and herbs/supplements that I will be trying to get on. We are going to be starting a new IV antibiotic next week, and this week, I will be trying to get on some herbs that help Lyme. Please pray big time that I can handle everything. We are hoping that this is the missing piece to the puzzle and that we will start to see visible progress forward. We have glimpses, but would love to see big steps!!

We also talked to her about my diet. I have lost SOOOO much weight and in Brian's opinion, we are about 10 pounds past what looks healthy. I can't tell that much except for none of my clothes fit, lol. However, I spend most of my days in pajama pants, so I don't pay attention. I have been on a very restricted veggie, meat and fruit diet and recently we were able to add back in dairy sparingly. We walk a hard road because of trying to make sure I have enough to eat, but the things that would actually put weight on my bones like dairy products and fats, often feed the Candida. So, it's such a challenge. Anyways, the last couple of weeks I have hit a wall with this diet. I am starving, weak (probably cuz I have lost too much weight) and just mentally have a block. After talking to my doctor, she said we could SLOWLY try to add back in whole grain carbs making sure to only do one at a time looking for allergic reactions or how they effect my sleep pattern (when I got off carbs, I started sleeping better). Last night, I had a small serving of brown rice with dinner and it was heavenly! I will still be on a rotation diet, so I will have to be careful what I eat, how much and when, but I can't tell you how much it helps even mentally to be able to be able to add small healthy carbs back in.

God has also been doing something in our hearts lately. We have been on a LONG journey and sometimes over the last six years (wow, I can't believe it's been that long!) it's been hard to stay the course and keep the faith when life just looks bleaker and bleaker. Well, this past week has kind of woken us up. It wasn't any event or emotional/physical break through, but it was just the quietness of God's spirit ministering to us in a way that hasn't happened (or we haven't been willing to receive), in a long time.

Gateway Worship just put out a new CD that is amazing. It's called "God Be Praised" and I would HIGHLY recommend it. The song below is a song off of the album that has really ministered to my heart. Remember, to listen to this song, you will have to hit pause on my music player at the bottom of my blog. :)



In the song, it talks about how God is faithful, our healer and our protector. One line says "My God is like a fire defending me". I immediately got this picture of fire all around us and Jesus standing there as our protector. It jumped in my head out of nowhere and I guess I look at it as a gift because right after that, a passage in the bible (that I won't say that I have read often or that it would be an area I would randomly go to) stuck out to me. It was Zechariah 2. Within that passage I came across the verse (in the Amplified bible which is one that I don't normally read) that says...

"For I, says the Lord, will be to her a wall of fire round about, and I will be the glory in the midst of her" Zechariah 2:5 Amp

Do you know that the Amplified bible is the only version that states the verse like this? I have a app on my Ipod that has the bible in all the different versions. So, I can flip from one version to the next looking at the same verse. I usually don't read the Amplified version, but God clearly wanted me to hear this message, so I ended up there. It's so simple, yet so reassuring. God is our protector and our defender. Fire is impenetrable.  God's wall of protection will not be broken.  It was such an amazing and tender message that I still get choked up thinking about it.  God is so good. He is "Faithful"!

Well, that leaves me to some quick prayer requests.  First, my amazing husband is going to be taking the first part of the CPA exam this Friday.  Please be in prayer that his mind will be sharp and that he will remember the mountains of information that he has studied. I have confidence he will do awesome! Please just pray for peace and clarity of mind.  Second, please be praying that I can get on these new drugs/herbs/supplements (with no reactions!), adjust to my new diet and also that I am able to sleep.  Sleep has not been the best lately, but I think it's a result of a new drug that I am on.  Finally, we are currently praying about something that I don't feel like I can share about yet.  However, if you could just pray that God would give us wisdom and guide and direct us the way that He thinks we should go, we would appreciate it!

Well, that is it! Sorry it has taken me so long to write, but it wasn't until now that I felt like I was at a point that I could share all that has gone on lately. :)  I was too emotional and believe me, you would have not wanted to read an update or post on how I felt last week, lol. :)  See ya soon! Blessings!