ANS...the necessary evil

Hello Friends! I hope everyone's summer is going well. It is SOOOOO hot here. Can you tell I don't like the heat? I know...we live in the wrong place to not like heat, lol. Well, it's beautiful weather 3/4 of the year if you can make through a few short months of extreme heat. So, it's worth it!

Before I get to explaining my title, I first want to say congratulations to my sister-in-law who got married this past Friday. I was unable to attend the wedding, but Brian went and sent me pictures via his cell phone. She was honestly one of the most beautiful brides I have ever seen. I would post a picture of her, but since I don't have her permission and she is currently on her honeymoon, I can't do it yet. :) Brian and I are so thankful for the man God brought into her life. They are an incredible couple who love Jesus with all of their heart. It will be exciting to see God's plan for them unfold as I know they will impact His Kingdom in mighty ways.

Now onto an update. It broke my heart to not be able to be there to support her, but I was so thankful that I was well enough (or so I thought) to let Brian fly back to Nebraska. I had made it about 4 days without him a couple of weeks ago when he went on a business trip. It was uneventful except for a sprained ankle (long story, lol), so I thought this wouldn't be any different. Brian left on Thursday and the wedding was on Friday. Brian called to check in late Friday evening after the ceremony/reception and I was doing okay. During the day on Friday, I had started noticing that I wasn't tolerating the heat very well for some reason when I was outside with our puppy. I would get pretty sick and feel like I was going to pass out even though I was only out there for about 5 minutes. That was strange for me because I had never really had a problem with heat before. So, it wasn't fun, but I was making it through and I didn't really think much of it.

After I talked to Brian and said goodnight, I started getting ready for bed and that is when everything went crazy. It hit me hard. The room was spinning and I had to hold onto things to get places. I was short of breath, freezing cold and shivering, but sweating at the same time, had tingling and numbness all over my body, crazy heart rhythms, stomach cramping (not related to anything I ate) and had trouble keeping water down which is SOOO important because I dehydrate so easily. I literally felt like I was going to pass out about every 5 minutes no matter whether I was standing, sitting or lying down. This is why I named this post "ANS...the necessary evil." I will explain.

ANS stands for the Autonomic Nervous System. For those of you who don't know a lot about medical things (consider yourself blessed, lol), this is the part of your body that controls everything that happens "automatically". That is how I keep the two nervous systems straight. So, it controls your heart rate, breathing, temperature control, digestion and list goes on and on. That is where the "necessary" part comes in. No one can live without it! For me, Lyme has attacked the part of my brain that houses the ANS which is why I suffer from Dysautonomia. Dysautonomia symptoms are like I described above, but up until this point, I hadn't EVER experienced anything to this magnitude. It probably didn't help that I got so ill, so fast and Brian was gone. Plus, we haven't really been able to meet or fellowship with anyone in Tucson because I have been so sick since we moved down here. So, even if something did happen, there isn't anyone to call or assist. So, being alone with God truly does take on a new meaning when I am in these types of situations. I didn't get any sleep the entire night and prayed like never before.

I was unable to reach anyone late at night, but in the morning, I got a hold of Brian. The wedding festivities ended Friday evening, but he had planned on staying until Sunday afternoon. However, with how sick I was, he decided to come early. Praise the Lord! I am still not doing good at all, but thankfully, the intense magnitude of my Friday night experienced has lessened a small amount. We have our speculation as to what is happening, but we aren't medical doctors, so we can't say for sure. It's our guess though, since I have been off antibiotic treatment (that was fighting the Lyme) for about six weeks, that the bacteria has had a field day as it senses freedom. Basically, it's probably having a party. Obviously, it didn't get the "you're not invited memo" I sent out. :P So, it's attacking my ANS like never before.

This gap in treatment was really unavoidable. The treatment I was on with the doctor in CA was making me way too sick in a bad way, and we have had to wait for an appointment with the new doctor in July. Thankfully, we are almost there. July 7th is our appointment with the doctor in Phoenix. Boy, can it not come fast enough! I am probably going to be a literal mess by then, but that is what happens when you seek help from MCS and Chronic Illness specialists. They are in high demand these days and no matter how sick you are, you have to wait like everyone else.

So, that leaves me asking for some prayer. Please pray that my ANS will calm down. I would ask for protection that it won't get any worse in the next 10 days. We would also ask you to start praying for that appointment. We really need this physician to help us. This weekend brought my level of sickness to an entirely new level. I have a good feeling about her, but you never know until you meet and talk over a treatment plan etc. Please pray that she will have wisdom on how to treat me as my case is so tricky with my MCS and now my severe Dysautonomia. Please also pray that we would have wisdom in the area of direction of our lives (I know that is a big general statement, lol). We have some decisions to make about my future treatment, finances, grad school etc. We are trying to just take things one day at a time, but sooner or later, we are going to have to choose certain paths.

Finally, I have an appointment with my regular internal medicine doctor on Friday. Brian is going to go with me (thank goodness) as this is the first time I will see her since I was diagnosed with Lyme and have been on treatment. If you read my "About Lyme Disease" section, you will see that there are two ways to treat Lyme and that it's tricky to test and diagnose. My guess is this doctor will disagree with how we have chosen to treat Lyme and we are not even sure if she will agree with my diagnosis all together. However, we need to see her so that she will write scripts for some of my maintenance meds. Please just be praying that the Lord will work in mighty ways and that she will be supportive and even willing to help. What a miracle that will be!!!

Well, that's my update. It's been crazy, but I have sensed the Lord's presence and His hand upon us in so many ways. This is such a scary road sometimes, but with God, we don't have a reason to fear. Sometimes, I have to beat that phrase into my head, but it's so true!. He is truly in control and we are just trusting that he will protect and lead us with every step we take. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Below is a video of an incredible worship leader, Kari Jobe, singing a song called "Beautiful". This really spoke to my heart Friday night. It's such a peaceful and beautiful worship song. You will have to hit pause on my music player at the bottom of this page so it doesn't interfere as you listen. I hope it touches your heart like it did mine.